Sunday 22 June 2008

Confused and Scared

So we went out tonight. Him, me and a few friends. I thought I really liked him but now I am sitting in my bed, with second, third and fourth thoughts rushing through my head. I was thinking of 100 reasons why I should not fall for him, but there was only ONE feeling situated at the back of my head: FEAR. I fear that he doesn't like me therefore I will wind up heartbroken. Another rather BIG fear of mine is that I am not good enough for him, or I do not reach his standards. He is the "perfect" boy; smart, talented, fit, oh and did I mention smart. He has deep dimples and beautiful eyes and pink cheeks. He also has a really nice stance and strut. Told you he was perfect.

And what do I have? He just thinks that I am the "wog girl" who is not very bright. I know that just because HE does not think I am smart and talented does not mean that I am not. But you can't help but doubt yourself when someone as intelligent as he is does not think much of you, especially when you have feelings for him.

I will close my heart. Yes there is a chance that I will miss out on "a romance" but there is an even bigger chance that I will turn up heartbroken. I don't think I have healed since "the last one" anyway. But maybe that is just an excuse. Oh I do not know how I feel about anyone, all I know is that I am scared!

So what to do. Close my heart seems to be the only option.

I hope things turn around, but I hoesntly doubt that it would.

I will keep you posted.

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